WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
♫WKBRL♫
The Start
Transcript:
Woman: Transmitting live from Starr Park. From the deep dark depths of the gem mine to the snowy peaks of mystic mountain. From the frontier to studio B. Forwards and backwards across space and time. You are listening to acceptable radio on WKBRL.
(in a deep voice)The voice that hears you.
Notes:
First time locations have been noted in the WKBRL Livestream.
Deep, Dark, Depths of the Gem Mine
Gem Mine is being addressed here as a general location, a proper noun, meaning that there is only one of these present in the universe Starr Park is located in. Or, it might as well be the name of one of the attractions found at the Park.
“The Snowy peaks of Gem Mountain” Same applies as mentioned above.
“The Frontier”: Reference to the start of Brawl Stars as a Wild West-themed game. Could also refer to a particular section/attraction at the park wherein all is Western-themed.
“Studio B”: Most likely the same Studio we observe the livestream to be hosted in. Also note that “B” denotes a particular location as being underground, as mentioned in another audio clip.
“Forwards and backwards across space and time.”: A reference to the apparently dire relativity of Starr Park. Further enunciation/ theory crafting is required.
“You are listening to acceptable radio on WKBRL”: Any radio stations’ broadcasting denotes what the radio station plays as it is broadcasting. Some radio stations state that they’re playing “the latest hits” or “rock from the 80’s”. In this case, the radio station titled WKBRL is playing “acceptable radio '', another mention of Starr Park’s sheer control.
Credits: Notes by Advertisement Guy.
Listen like somebody's watching
Transcript:
Man: WKBRL reminding you to dance like nobody cares. *silence* Listen, like somebody's watching.
Notes:
Good morning music
Transcript:
*plays music for a long time and keeps playing for the entire sound*
Woman: Good morning! You are having a good morning. Are you having a good morning? No? You are having a good morning. Now, isn't the weather lovely? The weather is lovely; the weather is sunny today. The sun is shining bright; the sun is a powerful star. Your smile is our window to your soul; don't let your teeth hold you back. If you are awake you should go to sleep. *her voice slowly dissolves* Go to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.
*music keeps playing for a long time*
Notes:
Interesting the fact they say to sleep when it's just morning.
News & Weather Report #1
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. Tonight’s feature story: Are you smiling enough? A news team special report. But first, let’s take a look at the weather forecast.
Thanks, news! The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
The News guy and the Weather guy are the same person.
First of a series of similar sound clips which demonstrate the mental breakdown of the “News and Weather Person.” who makes their first appearance in this particular audio clip
Temperature here is denoted in Fahrenheit, meaning Starr Corp. uses the Imperial system. Not a surprise as the company is located in the United States.
The particular number mentioned, 74, has no direct correlation to anything in Brawl Stars/ Brawl Stars related. Further speculation required to denote its meaning.
Sponsorship: “Your Mattress” is obviously a fictitious brand, most likely demonstrating that Starr Corp. Only permits its own products to be used within Starr Park, especially the people who are permanently residents there.
“The Hard Sleep, that doesn’t let the night terrors enter.”- this seems to suggest the occurrence of night terrors is commonplace for whomever doesn’t sleep properly according to the aforementioned guidelines of “8 hours”
Curiously, the term “Hard Sleep” is usually used when people have trouble sleeping, not when people are deep within it. Another of Starr Park’s idiosyncratic statements.
One can only imagine what the night terrors mentioned here are… Further speculation required.
News & Weather Report #1 Sponsorship: Mattress
Transcript:
Woman 2: This news and weather report is brought to you by the mattress that you sleep on. It is mandatory that you get exactly 8 hours of sleep tonight. The hard sleep that doesn’t let night terrors enter. Your mattress. Sleep on it.
Notes:
8 hours is the duration of the "Time for Sleep" part.
KairosTim
Transcript:
KairosTim: Hello, fellow brawlers! Kairos Tim here, once again.
Tim to brawl, Tim to not listen to fake Kairos and tune into my YouTube channel. Like it, subscribe now.
Tim, I’m Kairos Tim.
Notes:
The one and only Kairos Tim makes a brief appearance in the WKBRL Livestream, reminding listeners to subscribe to his YT channel.
It's a parody of the famous Brawl Stars' content creator Kairos Time. The lore of this is: KairosTim says that Kairos Time is the fake Kairos, but actually it's just for his theories' videos; probably Starr Corp. feels accused because Kairos Time says they're evil.
Nothing to worry about / Acceptable music
Transcript:
Man: That one makes me not worry about anything at all. Every time I hear it. You have nothing to be worried about because you’re listening to WKBRL, your only acceptable music choice.
Notes:
A reminder by the Radio Station Operator to not worry since we’re listening to WKBRL.
Rule #1: Wear your Starr Hat
Transcript:
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rules - Wear your Starr-hat all times.
Notes:
You're listening to acceptable radio (jingle?)
Transcript:
Woman: You’re listening to acceptable radio, only on WKBRL.
Woman: Hold that smile, folks. There is absolutely nothing to be unhappy about. More hits from yesterday’s today as we know it. Coming up next on WKBRL.
Deep voice: The voice that hears you.
Notes:
Easy on your ears
Transcript:
Man: That one makes me smile every time I hear it. And now, here’s another one, that’s easy on your ears.
Notes:
Rule #2: Smile
Transcript:
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule-Smile! You’re happy.
Notes:
Isn't happiness easy? (reversed)
Transcript:
Isn't happiness easy? Yes, questioning is hard. Questioning opens up the opportunity to be unhappy. But happiness is easy. You must be happy. It’s ok, everything is ok.
Notes:
This sound and the music in the background are reversed.
Easy on your ears
Transcript:
Man: That one makes me smile every time I hear it. And now, here's another one that's easy on your ears.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #2
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. Is normal the new normal? A news team special report. But first, let’s check in with weather. Weather?
Thanks, news. The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
Smile reminder #1
Transcript:
Woman: This is a smile reminder. Remember to show maximum teeth. If your tooth capacity is insufficient, employ issued teeth will be supplied.
Notes:
Easy on your ears
Transcript:
Man: That one makes me smile every time I hear it. And now, here's another one that's easy on your ears.
Notes:
Uninterrupted music sponsored by WKBRL Radio + reminder
Transcript:
Woman: That uninterrupted music hour was brought to you by WKBRL Radio, who reminds you to keep your chin up, head down and lips pressed together tightly and curled upwards at the ends.
Notes:
Starr Park Siren System explainer
Transcript:
Woman: For your safety and the safety of others, please familiarize yourself with the Starr Park siren system.
2 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: If you hear this sound, this is an emergency. Please evacuate the area and [reconvene in sub?]level 5B, per emergency protocol.
1 second long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: If you hear this sound, it means this is a test of our emergency systems.
Please follow emergency protocol.
3 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This sound means it’s lunchtime.
Rapid ringing siren plays.
Woman: This means a gate in the west quadrant was left ajar.
Slow ringing siren plays.
Woman: This means a gate in the east quadrant was left ajar.
4 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This sound means it’s time to perform your semi-hourly quadrant gate check.
Rapid ringing siren plays.
Woman: This sound means the gate was successfully locked.
2 different sirens are played.
Woman: This sound means there’s an unauthorized mascot gathering occuring on the premises.
Notes:
We don't know exactly where sub level 5B is.
They mention gates, probably because someone can escape from the park.
Interesting how there is a siren for mascots: the only mascots we saw in the investor video are a cactus and a penguin, that are references to Spike and Mr. P.
EMERGENCY
Transcript:
2 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This is an emergency. I repeat, this is an emergency. Please evacuate. This is not a test.
Notes:
This is Over
Transcript:
Man: That one makes me smile every time I hear it. And now, here’s anothe-
Deep voice: This is over.
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle (listening to acceptable radio)
Transcript:
Woman 1: WKBRL radio. Always on, alwayz-
Robotic voice: accepted.
Woman 2: You’re listening to acceptable radio.
♫ WKBRL! ♫
Woman 2: The voice that hears you.
Notes:
They Won't Press That Button
Transcript:
Man: And now, another long uninterrupted music hour. Don’t worry, y’all. They won’t push that button unless we force them to do it.
Notes:
Still unknown what actually is "That Button" but seems like something relevant for the lore.
KairosTim's workout
Transcript:
Kairos Tim: Welcome everyone! This is Kairos and we’re gonna work out!
All rise. The time for muscle training is now. Are you ready? Are you feeling it?
Push-ups! Go! One arm. Decline with the clap in the middle. Go! Go! Go! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! All right, time for pull-ups. You got this, pinkies only, go!
Go! Iron cross, go! Keep smiling. And holding. And smiling. And holding. And smiling. Don’t lose it! You don’t wanna lose it. The smile, not the iron cross, you can always do another iron cross. But you can’t stop smiling, keep smiling, keep smiling. Now, rest!
Rest time over! Punch time, go! Punch right, punch left. Punch right, punch left. Punch right, punch left. Punch right, punch left. Punch right, punch left. Punch right, punch left. Stop! Now kick! Kickright, kick left. Kickright, kick left. Kickright, kick left. Kickright, kick left. Stop! And remember, this is Kairos. Muscle training is now complete.
Participants clap in the background.
Notes:
The part where he says "Keep smiling" describes smiling like something you need training, because people in Starr Park have to smile for the entire day.
Maybe it is a workout for brawlers to improve their health for fighting.
Smile reminder #2
Transcript:
Robotic woman: This is your smile reminder. Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile!
Voice gets angrier with time.
Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile!
There. That’s better
Notes:
News and Weather Report #3
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. THIS! Is the news. Breaking news today folks, everything is perfect. *laughs*, this has been the news!. And now, weather!
Man 2: *Laughs* Thanks news. The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
Glockenspiel
Transcript:
Woman:WKBRL. Another rock, block and spiel of glockenspiel coming right up
Notes:
Nothing to figure out / 9 gems are never enough
Transcript:
♫ Music ♫
Woman: Can you hear how happy you are? There is nothing for you to consider. There is nothing for you to figure out. Everything is as it seems
♫ Music ♫
Woman: No need to understand.
♫ Music ♫
Woman: Nothing to understand.
♫ Music ♫
Woman: Gems will make you happy. Nine gems are never enough. If you have 9 gems, you might as well have 0. Strive for 10. It's fine. It's finee~.
Notes:
This sound contains a reference to Gem Grab game mode where you need 10 gems to win.
Lips Zipper Sponsorship
Transcript:
Woman: WKBRL is brought to you by the secret keeper Lip Zipper Company: makers of the zippers that keep you from blabbing about the secret you never even saw or heard about. Be a gem, throw away that key. And now, back to the end of the show.
Notes:
Is it possible that the "key" is for a "safe"?
Extended WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
♫Radio! Radio! Acceptable radio! Radio! Radio! Acceptable radio! W-K-B-R-L! Find joy on the radio! W-K-B-R-L! Find joy on the radio, radio!♫
Notes:
This jingle reminds a lot the first song played on WKBRL daily loop (k-pop).
Nosey Questions
Transcript:
Woman: And now an hour of the only acceptable way to answer nosey questions like "Where is Starr Park?" and "What happened to Jessie?". You are listening to acceptable radio on WKBRL.
Notes:
These two questions are really interesting and obviously they have not given us answers.
The question "What happened to Jessie?" is probably a reference to a WKBRL v2.0 sound discovered on April 19th 2021, where there was a girl, with a very similar voice to Jessie; we don't know exactly what happened to her but apparently she was locked somewhere(?).
You can find the sound here.
Joy Sounds Like
Transcript:
This sound appeared in the middle of the laughs
If this is what joy sounds like to you, you are correct! Here’s another killer.
Notes:
Rule #3: Drink Water
Transcript:
♫ Music ♫
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests please respect the following rule drink water the moment has not yet come
♫ Music ♫
Notes:
Joy
Transcript:
Man: Can you feel joy all around you can you see it turn around joy should be standing right there if joy is not hovering in your personal space ask a Starr Park joy enforcer for immediate assistance and now back to the show!
Notes:
A Warm-Hearted Companion
Transcript:
Woman: You are a warm-hearted companion to all friends, all friends.
*woman laughing in the background*
Notes:
News & Weather Report #4
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. *scrambles through papers* *breathes in and sighs loudly*. This has been the news!. And now, weather!
Man 2: *Laughs* Thanks news. The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #4 Sponsorship: Explosive Supplement
Transcript:
Women: This News and weather report was brought you by *explosion*. Let’s face it. Our bodies simply doesn’t make enough power, That’s why we made *explosion*, the only supplement fortified with raw power. Isn’t it time that your body did more for the power grid. Try *explosion* today. Now available in an easy to chew power plant based gummy form
Notes:
Maybe this is a new version of an old advertisement on WKBRL v1.0 called My Little Mine(?).
Why Are You Not Laughin'?
Transcript:
Man: Why are you not laughin’? Are you not happy? Have you not been listening? There's no real reason to not be happy. If you are happy, act like it. This is truly a happy time here on WKBRL, The voice that hears you.
Notes:
A Friend to Friends
Transcript:
*Laughing*
Woman: You yourself, a friend to friends to friends
*Laughing
Notes:
KairoTim's Laugh
Transcript:
KairosTim: HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, That's what KairosTim sounds like when he’s laughing.
Notes:
Rule #4: The Past Should Remain There
Transcript:
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule: The past should remain there.
Notes:
May Your Star Forever Shine Bright
Transcript:
Robotic female voice: May your star forever shine bright.
Notes:
(audio track normal and reversed)
Transcript:
Notes:
Laughters that keep getting reversed then played normal for several times.
We Are Happy
Transcript:
*In a slightly robotic and monotone female voice* The things we listen to make us happy. We are listening to WKBRL. WKBRL makes us happy! You are happy. We are happy! And we are listening…
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
♫ Music ♫
Different female voice: You are listening to acceptable radio - WKBRL! The voice that hears you.
Notes:
Playing Today's Hits Today
Transcript:
Back to the monotone female voice: Playing today’s hits today, on Starr Park’s one and only source for acceptable music.
Notes:
Rule #5: Questions Lead to Dead Ends
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - Questions lead to dead ends.
*Plink*
Notes:
Let Buzz Know
Transcript:
*In a slightly robotic and monotone female voice* The music is in you. Do you hear it? Are you drowning in it? Do you need a torpedo buoy? No? Okay. Well, if you do, let Buzz know alright? Let’s get back to the show
Notes:
Contains a reference to Buzz, the brawler released in the same season as WKBRL v3.0 .
There is Nothing to be Unhappy About
Transcript:
♫Flute music plays in the background♫
Slightly echoing female voice: There is nothing to be unhappy about.
Notes:
There is Only Joy Here
Transcript:
♫Flute music plays in the background♫
Slightly echoing female voice: There is only joy here.
Notes:
Golf Ball Shaped Building
Transcript:
Man: For the record that they keep locked in a safe inside of a golf ball shaped building that I do not have security clearance for, that song is my favourite. And here’s my other favourite. WKBRL
Notes:
We can see the "Golf Ball Shaped Building" in the investor video.
Non-Stop Flute
Transcript:
Man: We’re in the middle of another non-stop bamboo flute block. WKBRL.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #5 (same as #1)
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. Tonight’s feature story: Are you smiling enough? A news team special report. But first, let’s take a look at the weather forecast.
Thanks, news! The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
Toothpaste Sponsorship
Transcript:
WKBRL News is brought to you by Toothpaste. Toothpaste keeps your smile toothy, especially with all that energy drink you drink. Ask for Toothpaste wherever truths are sold.
Notes:
Flutes Are Calm
Transcript:
Man: Flutes are calm!
Notes:
Are You Crying?
Transcript:
Man: What are you doing? Are you crying? You are? It's a okay to cry as long as they're tears of joy. Ok. Stop joying all over the radio. Just stop. Stop it. I said stop joy. Wait, what am I saying? Keep joying. There's nothing wrong with joying, I'm joying right now and so are you. WKBRL.
Notes:
The speaker was not noticing he was saying to stop the joy, literally the opposite of what WKBRL reminds for the entire loop.
Smile Reminder #3
Transcript:
Woman: This is your reminder to smile.
Notes:
The Places I Went To In My Head
Transcript:
Man: I cannot even begin to tell you about the places I went to in my head during that last song. I want to but we're out of time. This is WKBRL: The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
♫WKBRL♫
Notes:
Welcome Back
Transcript:
Woman: Welcome, welcome, welcome back *with deep voice*! We're about to kick off another uninterrupted hour of non-stop music. Now it's the time to enjoooy- joy *with high-pitched voice*.
Notes:
Happiness and Contentment
Transcript:
Man: If you're like me, that piece really transports you to a place where joy can be enjoyed. And now, let's turn our ears to an arrangement from a completely different space and time. This next piece is a much more introspective journey: it sits at the intersection of happiness and contentment.
Notes:
Rule #6: Time is an Illusion
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - Time is an illusion.
*Plink*
Notes:
First Time Hearing
Transcript:
Man: I feel like I've heard that one before…No, I'm being told that this is definitely the first time I'm hearing it. And guess what? I love it! Here's another one that I'm being told I love.
Notes:
Long and Slow Clip About Happiness
Transcript:
*with music background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* What are you hearing is how it feels when you feel happy!
*music*
Isn't happiness easy?
*music*
You must be happy.
*music*
You must choose the right brawler for the right event.
*music*
The wrong brawler in the wrong event makes us all unhappy.
*music*
You must be happy.
*music keeps playing for more time*
You must be happy.
Notes:
They mentioned some in-game things.
You Are Smiling, Aren't You?
Transcript:
Woman: Well, well, we have you smiling during this non-stop music block. You are smiling, aren't you? Now smile harder!
Notes:
Smile Reminder #4
Transcript:
Woman: Don't forget to smile! Frowns will be turned upside down.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #6
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. Breaking news today folks, everything is perfect. But is it? Really…? This has been the news as sanctioned. And now, the weather!
The forecast? Sunny and fine. The temperature? 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
Your Friends
Transcript:
Man: That's another 60 minutes of uninterrupted positive vibes from your friends, your FRIENDS *with very deep voice*.
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
W-K-B-R-L: acceptable radio.
Notes:
The Voice That Hears You
Transcript:
Robotic Woman: I don't know why the next hour makes me so happy. I can't figure it out. Every time I listen to it my ears hear happiness. I feel safe! And I feel like destroying a safe all at the same time. So will you? I- and The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
We can see a clear reference to the Heist gamemode.
Happiness is Inevitable
Transcript:
*with a calm music in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Happiness is inevitable.
Notes:
Do You Feel Joy?
Transcript:
*with a calm music in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Do you feel joy?
Notes:
Keep Fighting
Transcript:
*with a calm music in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Keep fighting!
Notes:
Smile Reminder #5
Transcript:
Woman: Check your face! Are you smiling? Smiling is fun! And mandatory.
Notes:
What Is There to Worry About?
Transcript:
*with a cryptic sound in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* What is there to worry about?
Notes:
News & Weather Report #7
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. This is the news. This is the news? Is this the news? This is the news. News is this-. News. News. Neeews this- *starts laughing* news *talks while laughing* this is the the this this news news news news this this news ah news news *breaths loudly* You snooze, you news! *laughs* news *laughs* Oh, I didn't news that. *laughs* Before I used... And now, weather.
The forecast? Sunny and fine. The temperature? 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
The news weather guy starts to be a bit crazy and schizophrenic.
Let's Find Contentment
Transcript:
*with a cryptic sound in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Let's find contentment.
Notes:
Everything is okay
Transcript:
*with a cryptic sound in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Everything is okay. Everything is right.
Notes:
This is Normal
Transcript:
*with a cryptic sound in the background start increasing*
Woman: *with slightly voice* This is normal.
*very loud and annoying plane sound*
Notes:
The plane sound may be a reference to an image on starrpark.biz called "DREAMJET.JPG".
It can also be a reference to Janet.
You Like Gems
Transcript:
*with a disturbing sound in the background*
Woman: *with a soft voice* You like gems.
Notes:
Rule #7: Questions
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - Questions: less is more.
*Plink*
Notes:
The Mind is Free
Transcript:
Man: Wasn't that delightful? Mind is free to do what mind wants. And mind wants mouth to say that *voice keeps decreasing* this is normal; mind also wants mouth to say this is acceptable radio on WKBR- *with completely decreased voice*
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle
Transcript:
♫W-K-B-R-L *clap clap* The Voice That Hears You♫ *clap clap*
Notes:
Sporadically Interrupted
Transcript:
Woman: Up next we plunge into another hour of sporadically interrupted acceptable radio music. Only on WKBRL: *with high-pitched voice* The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Smile Reminder #6 (same as #3)
Transcript:
Woman: Don't forget to smile! Frowns will be turned upside down.
Notes:
Designed to Keep You Calm
Transcript:
Woman: You are listening to WKBRL, the home of all the drips from yesterday, tomorrow and today. And now, soak yourself in another non-stop hour of radio designed to keep you perfectly, perfectly calm, in the hailstorm that is your existence. Do you understand?
Notes:
"Yesterday, tomorrow and today" are actually the same day because of the daily loop.
WKBRL Jingle (calm)
Transcript:
*piano music*
*slightly voice* ♫WKBRL♫ The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Submerged in Joy
Transcript:
Man: You are currently submerged in joy on WKBRL: The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #8
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: *talks fast and loudly* HELLO AND GOOD DAY THIS IS THE NEWS THIS HAS BEEN THE NEWS NOTHING IS REAL AND NOTHING MATTERS. AND NOW THE WEATHER.
The forecast? Sunny and fine. The temperature? 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
The news weather guy has become schizophrenic.
Stay Engulfed
Transcript:
Man: Stay engulfed in this non-stop flow of containment- I mean contentment. Only on WKBRL.
Notes:
It's not random this words' confusion between contentment and containment.
A Storm of Acceptable Radio
Transcript:
Woman: A storm of acceptable radio music is a bruin. Only on WKBRL: The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Back in a Splash
Transcript:
Man: Back in a splash with another deluge of tunes, right after a break from our sponsor.
Notes:
Sponsor: Please Stop
Transcript:
*plays piano music*
Woman: Do you find yourself questioning your station in life? Having flashes of another plane of existence? Experiencing occasional bouts of sudden realness?
If you are suffering from these things or more you may be experiencing a rare, but serious, condition called awakenings. These temporal existential interferences disrupt your permitted activities and threaten your permanence. But now there is help. Introducing: Please Stop. Please Stop is the only hourly pill perfectly engineered to quell awakenings; just one pill an hour keeps these disruptions where they belong: elsewhere. Awaken no more with Please Stop, please just stop. Ask your doctor today if Please Stop is right for you. We already know they'll say yes.
Notes:
They describe "awakenings" as a bad thing.
Reminder About the Lights
Transcript:
*with water sound in the background*
Woman: Please remember: we will only turn the lights off if absolutely necessary.
Notes:
Rule #7: This is Normal
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - If you are feeling happy, this is normal.
*Plink*
Notes:
This woman may be the same as the WKBRL v2.0 loop where she says for the entire time "This is normal".
Everything's Right as Rain
Transcript:
Man: Man, it's really coming down! How long has it been raining like this? Hours? Days? Past lives? Who am I to ask questions? Everything's right as rain because you're listening to WKBRL: The Voice-.
Notes:
"Past lives" is an interesting mention.
WKBRL Jingle (acceptable radio)
Transcript:
W-K-B-R-L: acceptable radio.
Notes:
The Contest
Transcript:
Man: Do you ever feel down? Do you ever feel like you haven't won the contest? I don't feel that way because I win contest and therefore I am happy, there is no other option. Here is an uninterrupted hour of radio music to make you feel the way you already feel all the time. WKBRL: acceptable radio.
Notes:
Rule #8: Backwards is not a Viable Way Forward
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - Backwards is not a viable way forward.
*Plink*
Notes:
Always Winning
Transcript:
Man: WKBRL is where you are always winning, keep it tuned right here unless you want to lose.
Notes:
(reversed music)
Transcript:
Notes:
Real Life Person
Transcript:
Woman: Start tomorrow, "tomorrow"? Start your day right now with me, a real life person who plays popular radio music on the WKBRL.
Notes:
News & Weather Report #9
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. I'm anchor name here. Or am I? The last thing I remember is news outro *starts News and Weather Report outro and continues while he's talking* cuts him off. Mh? Oh, yes. I see you did. *outro ends* Oh thank you. I am a puppet.
Notes:
This is the first clip without the weather part.
The outro transcript is, like in the other News and Weather Report sounds:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
The "I am a puppet" part shows us that after that schizophrenic break Starr Corp did something to him.
KairosTim: Wear Your Starr Hat All the Time
Transcript:
*plays KairosTim's jingle*
KairosTim: Hello fellow brawlers! KairosTim would like to remind you that there is no better safer way of wearing your Starr-Hat than wearing it all the time, even when you sleep, even when you shower, even when you try on another hat. This is Kairos!
Notes:
This sound is a parody of an old Kairos Time Brawl Theory video where he says that Starr Hats are mind-control devices. And confirms he is right.
You've Won!
Transcript:
Woman: You are tuned to WKBRL. And because of that you've WON! And now, we must SING! We must sing! We must sing directly into the microphone or they won't know that we are singing because you won and therefore are happy.
Notes:
"or they won't know"? Who are they?
Smile Reminder #7
Transcript:
Woman: This is your reminder to smile.
Notes:
An Hour of Victory
Transcript:
Man: That was an hour of uninterrupted victory. I hope you feel it in whatever skin you're wearing; I hope your feet are marching in the correct direction; I hope you keep it tuned right here to WKBRL. And don't make the mistake of leaving.
Notes:
The word "skin" refers to skins in-game.
WKBRL Jingle (techno)
Transcript:
♫W-K-B-R-L *clap clap* The Voice That Hears You♫ *clap clap*
Notes:
Limitlessness of Space
Transcript:
Woman: Up next we will find happiness in the limitlessness of space, our origin. Let's go back there, together.
Notes:
They define the space like their origin because Brawl Stars in the alpha version was a space-themed game.
But can the meaning be deeper?
Smile Reminder #7 (same as #2)
Transcript:
Woman: This is your smile reminder. Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile!
Voice gets angrier with time.
Smile! Smile! Smile! Smile!
There. That’s better.
Notes:
Project Yourself
Transcript:
Man: Project yourself onto the outer reaches of the infinity galaxy; with laser focus you can find yourself shining brighter than any star there never was, because you are tuned into WKBRL. And you are drifting through space. *with deep voice*
Notes:
Clear reference to Project Laser, the first 8-Bit's minigame.
Your Insatiable Appetite for Fun
Transcript:
*calm music in the background*
Woman: *with slightly voice* Technology has been domesticated to meet your insatiable appetite for fun.
Notes:
It's a quote from investor video.
News & Weather Report #10
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Hello and good day. I'm definitely anchor name here and this is the news. This just in: Everything is perfect. *laughs* So perfect. Too perfect *continues laughing* if you really think about it. *laughs*
Where the [sic] weather at?
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
Ogawa Roof Sponsorship
Transcript:
Woman: This commercial free hour of Space Jams is made possible by the Ogawa Roofing company. Ogawa Roofing has not been fixing roofs for decades because there's been zero roof trouble to speak of, whatsoever; no fiery objects have crashed in the middle of any roof said Ogawa knows of; but their roofers are always at the ready happy to help if and when your roof collapses under the weight of a gigantic robotic foot, which it won't, but if it does, call Ogawa today.
Notes:
This advertisement is the new version of an old one on WKBRL v1.0, maybe the first ever found.
Here is the first Ogawa Roof ad.
KairosTim's Riddle
Transcript:
*KairosTim jingle*
KairosTim: KairosTim here and I have a riddle for you: what's fake and not real but he says that he is real but is fake? That's right. Fake Kairos. Click like and subscribe to the REAL Kairos, KairosTim.
Notes:
Another sound where KairosTim keeps saying Kairos Time is the fake Kairos.
You Are Not Light-Years Away
Transcript:
Woman: You are not light-years away from another sentient being you are here! On solid happy ground! Stay tethered to WKBRL: The Voice That Hears You *with high-pitched voice*.
Notes:
Rule #9: Time is an Illusion (same as #6)
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - Time is an illusion.
*Plink*
Notes:
Why Would You Ever Want to Leave?
Transcript:
*calm background music*
Woman: *with a little echo voice* Why would you ever want to leave? We're in space, man!
Notes:
She doesn't mean they're literally in space.
WKBRL Jingle (listening to acceptable radio)
Transcript:
*music*
You are listening to acceptable radio ♫WKBRL♫ The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
A Journey Through the Outer Reaches
Transcript:
Man: Thank you for joining us today on a journey through the outer reaches of our hearts where we find that there is absolutely nothing to worry about, no reason for us to worry. This-
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle (rock)
Transcript:
*rock music*
♫WKBRL♫
Notes:
Fight and Respawn
Transcript:
Woman: If the next radio music hour doesn't make you want to fight and respawn then your behavior is unacceptable.
Notes:
"fight and respawn" is another reference to something that happens in Brawl Stars.
Good Morning Conversation
Transcript:
Man: Good morning! You are having a good morning?
Robotic Woman: I am. I am having a good morning. Are you having a good morning? No? How about now?
Man: The weather is lovely. Isn't the weather lovely?
Robotic Woman: The sun is shining bright. The sun is a powerful star.
Man: Your smile is our window to your soul. Don't let your teeth hold you back.
Robotic Woman: Don't hold you back. Really bend your soul to be happy.
Man: Bend your [interference] your voice so that it hears you.
Robotic Woman: Make voice say WKBRL.
Man: This is acceptable radio.
Notes:
This is the first sound of a summary of what WKBRL said for the entire loop. And it's made through a conversation.
We Let You Hear Us
Transcript:
Man: You hear us because we let you. WKBRL.
Notes:
Starr Park Siren System Explainer
Transcript:
Woman: For your safety and the safety of others, please familiarize yourself with the Starr Park siren system.
2 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: If you hear this sound, this is an emergency. Please evacuate the area and [reconvene in sub?]level 5B, per emergency protocol.
1 second long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: If you hear this sound, it means this is a test of our emergency systems.
Please follow emergency protocol.
3 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This sound means it’s lunchtime.
Rapid ringing siren plays.
Woman: This means a gate in the west quadrant was left ajar.
Slow ringing siren plays.
Woman: This means a gate in the east quadrant was left ajar.
4 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This sound means it’s time to perform your semi-hourly quadrant gate check.
Rapid ringing siren plays.
Woman: This sound means the gate was successfully locked.
2 different sirens are played.
Woman: This sound means there’s an unauthorized mascot gathering occuring on the premises.
Notes:
EMERGENCY
Transcript:
2 seconds long siren with pauses plays.
Woman: This is an emergency. I repeat, this is an emergency. Please evacuate. This is not a test.
Notes:
Point Your Ears to the Radio Tower
Transcript:
Woman: Your ears are of value to us. Keep them pointed at the big flashing radio tower. WKBRL.
Notes:
The big flashing radio tower is in the Super City environment.
Rule #9: We Will Only Push The Button if Necessary
Transcript:
*Plink*
Woman: To ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all our guests, please respect the following rule - We will only push the button if necessary.
*Plink*
Notes:
News & Weather Report #11
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: This is the news. News breaks so important I don't even have time to tell you good evening and hello. This just in: A valuable safe has been stolen. We don't know- now, we don't know- we do not know what- we do not know anything about what was going on or who stole it, but all we know is that a safe is gone and you are not safe. That is what we can take from this if a safe can be stolen in *beep* in broad daylight then guess what ladies and gentlemen you are not safe. Nothing is safe if safes are not safe. Uh this is… Yeah, I am deeply saddened. The state of our affairs… I wish I could tell you more. We do have choppers on the scene but they are covering the weather and unfortunately it is time for weather so we're going to throw it over to weather. Weather? What do you think about this society going downhill? *acts like weather person is talking* mh, mh, mh, mh. *breaths* Now, we're getting some extra reports that there might have been valuable contents in this safe. We don't know what; we don't know how; we do know that you, again, are not safe; nothing is safe and you should fear for yourself and others at all times of the day and night. That's all the time we have here at WKBRL. This is the news break, stay safe out there.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
"Safe" has two meanings: safe as an adjective and safe as a noun.
Smile Reminder #8 (same as #5)
Transcript:
Woman: Check your face! Are you smiling? Smiling is fun! And mandatory.
Notes:
Self Destruction / You Really Do Hear Me
Transcript:
Man: You might think this music would set me on a course for self-destruction, but instead, it's done just the opposite. Repeat after me: you really do hear me(?). WKBRL.
Notes:
Project Laser Music
Transcript:
Notes:
It's the same sound as on 8-Bit's minigame. This is the track (music_bossfight_loop) for the bossfight in Starrcade Breakdown, the third minigame.
Journey Into The Soul / Safety Safes Sponsorship
Transcript:
Woman: That journey into the soul via fighting music was brought to you by Safety Safes:
is your safe unsafe? Safety's state-of-the-art Safes technology let's you protect your valuables while seeking and destroying your enemies' safe at the same time. Better they didn't hear this first, when you think safe think Safety Safes.
Notes:
Hilarious how the News and Weather report literally said "Safes are not safe" then this ad has come.
Obvious reference to Heist game mode.
WKBRL Jingle (calm)
Transcript:
*calm piano music and voice*
♫WKBRL♫ The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Walking on Air
Transcript:
Man: Here's one to air drum to while you're walking on air. Only on WKBRL: acceptable worry free radio.
Notes:
That Music Brings Us Joy
Transcript:
Man: Listen to that music.
Robotic Woman: That music brings us joy.
Man: That music brings us happiness.
Robotic Woman: Only play games and listen to that music.
Man: Remember to eat. Remember to find joy.
Robotic Woman: Remember that the peace around us is peace everlasting.
Man: Is peace joy?
Robotic Woman: Can we live in the past?
Man: Can we live in the future?
Robotic Woman: No.
Man: So let's stay here.
Robotic Woman: Okay.
Man: The only time to be happy; the only time to be free; that time is now.
Robotic Woman: Can you hear how happy you are?
Man: There's absolutely nothing that you should consider.
Robotic Woman: There's nothing you need to figure out.
Man: Everything is as it seems.
Robotic Woman: Everything is as it seems.
Man: No need to understand.
Robotic Woman: Nothing to understand.
Man: Gems will make you happy.
Robotic Woman: It's fine. It's fine.
Notes:
This is the second sound of a summary of what WKBRL said for the entire loop. And it's made through a conversation.
Don't Experience Awakenings
Transcript:
Man: Just a friendly reminder that if you're experiencing awakenings, don't. Just don't. This message has been brought to you by your bffs at WKBRL: The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Another sound referring to awakenings, after Please Stop ad.
News & Weather Report #12
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: WKBRL action news flash: we have reports, strong reports, coming in. There is poison gas circling the arena. The poison gas is closing in, from what we understand that's as far as we know. Now if we have a skin uh if you- if you have a skin I think it would be a great time to wear it, if you’re one of the lucky ones with the skin out there I think it's a good time you put it on. Uh, and, uh, excuse me I believe this is uh... News, excuse me this is a weather report I think uh what you're doing right now so... I think that what I should say is: we do have poison gas, it is coming in. A cold front of poison gas is circling the arena as we speak. Be cautious. Be careful. Wear your skin. Is this news? Is this weather? I don't know. I'm having a schizophrenic break. Good luck to you, I'm gonna need it.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
The "poison gas" is the same as Showdown and KnockOut.
He talks like skins protect people from the gas.
You Have Nothing to Worry About
Transcript:
Woman: You have nothing to worry about because you're listening to W- WKBRL: Starr Park's only acceptable music choice.
Notes:
Smile Reminder #9 (same as #1)
Transcript:
Woman: This is a smile reminder. Remember to show maximum teeth. If your tooth capacity is insufficient, employ issued teeth will be supplied.
Notes:
WKBRL Jingle (calm)
Transcript:
*calm piano music and voice*
♫WKBRL♫ The Voice That Hears You.
Notes:
Isn't Happiness Easy?
Transcript:
*with fireworks sound in the background*
Man: Isn't happiness easy?
Robotic Woman: Yes.
Man: Questioning is hard.
Robotic Woman: Questioning opens up the opportunity to be unhappy.
Man: Happiness is easy.
Robotic Woman: You must be happy.
Man: It is okay. Everything is okay.
Notes:
This is the third sound of a summary of what WKBRL said for the entire loop. And it's made through a conversation.
Shine Bright, You Can
Transcript:
*with fireworks sound in the background*
Robotic Woman: Shine bright. You can. Every day.
Man: You are a warm-hearted companion.
Robotic Woman: So rich in gold and amazements.
Man: May you shine as long as the world exists.
Robotic Woman: Which world are you referring to, friend?
Man: You are correct.
Notes:
This is the fourth sound of a summary of what WKBRL said for the entire loop. And it's made through a conversation.
"Which world are you referring to" sounds like something important.
News & Weather Report #13
Transcript:
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
News and weather overlapping.
Woman 1: Have you heard the news?
WKBRL!
News and weather.
♫ Music ♫
Woman 1: Live from Starr Park! This is the news and weather report from a news and weather person.
Man: Today breaking news folks: science is awesome. *laughs* More on that, here's a word from our science reporter, Science. Science? *music starts* *pretty long silence*
Science tells us that an objective viewers that exists separate from the seer. [sic] Subject separate from object does not exist. The perception that things, any all things, exist independently of one another separate from each other is simply not true. But doesn't it seem true, listener? Doesn't it seem [sic] to be the case? For the chair that you sit in would exist even if you didn't? The nature of our situation, as it is explained to us by those on the very forefront of scientific thought is such that the very act of observing produces a change in the system. The questions that are asked, sometimes subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, affect the way that reality presents itself to ussssss. *pretty long silence*
Why then, is it that our brain, our gut and every primordial instinct that arises within us screams to us that the opposite is true, mh? What can we glean from the current predicament in which our understanding of the very reality in which we exist can, at best, be described as tenuous.
The only conclusion that we can make, dear listener, if we are rational, honest and have any reverence for truth; the only conclusion is that we must not trust ourselves. We must not believe in the things we think. We must not TRUST OURSELVES *with creepy voice*. We can all agree that the view from the top of the mountain is clear. Unimpeded true *with distorted voice*. But whom among us has made it to the summit? I have not, have YOU *with creepy voice*? No. We all stand on the side of the mountain; and we, from where we stand, zenith is not near. This is good! We should celebrate on beautiful slopes of the mountain, we should sing, we should dance, we should CELEBRATE *with creepy voice*. But we should not trust ourselves. We should not believe that what we think we see is, in fact, what is.
Have our eyes not failed us in the past? Have we not seen bats fly out of shovels? Have our ears not failed us in the past? Have we not heard laughter when no one was laughing? Have our taste buds not failed us in the past? Have we not drank POISON *with creepy voice* believing it was nectar? Have the nerve endings in the tips of our fingers not failed us in the past? Do we not reach out for PRECIOUS STONES AND BECOME NOTHING BUT SAND IN OUR PALMS *with creepy voice*?
And so, listener. Which of our senses can be trusted? Which of our thoughts can be believed? Which story, that we tell ourselves, can be regarded as truth? *music stops*
It's important to remember that-.
And now the news weather guy I think.
The forecast is sunny and fine. The temperature is 74 and sunny. This has been your WKBRL weather report.
Woman 1: News!
Weather!
News!
Weather!
That was news and weather.
Notes:
This is the longest sound of WKBRL v3.0 .
This sound introduces a "science" part in News and Weather Report.
Time for sleep loop
Transcript:
*with calm sound in the background and voice*
We have been happy all day
Woman: We have been happy all day. We have been happy all day. We have been happy all day. Now is the time for sleep. Now is the time for sleep. Now is the time for sleep. Now is the time for sleep.
No reason for your eyes to be open
Woman: There is no reason for your eyes to be open.
Find peace with your eyes closed
Woman: Find peace with your eyes closed, please.
Now is the time for sleep
Woman: Now is the time for sleep.
You should be sleeping now
Woman: You should be sleeping now!
Shut your eyes
Woman: Shut your eyes!
Leave this dream
Woman: Leave this dream and find another dream.
This is a utopia
Woman: This is a utopia, of course. Conflict and fighting have no home here. This is a place where nothing could ever go wrong. Why would you ever want to leave this place?
Is this a dream?
Woman: Is this a dream? Yes, and it is real!
Notes:
These sounds keep looping hourly for the entire night (the night lasts 8 hours) until the daily loop starts.
The sounds "This is a utopia" and "Is this a dream?" are quotes from the investor video.